that's an acceptable place to lick
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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