ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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