I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
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can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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