living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
