Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
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