I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
