i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
