I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
