i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
My life is pants optional.
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