Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
