ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
