Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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