I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
