I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
My vagina is officially offended.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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