i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
