our cab driver is having phone sex.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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