Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
This house was built for laser tag.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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