she woke up with a sticky ear
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
