the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Couch. On fire.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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