you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
soo... how was my night?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
