My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
