Duck Duck Cougar?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
