im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
