Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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