youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
