oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
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