Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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