I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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