Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
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She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
It's blow job season.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
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Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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