Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
porn star boner night. come get it.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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