What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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