Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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