Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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