Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
