You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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