Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize