There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
