Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
