i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
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