I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
party gras won. party gras always wins.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Randomize
