Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
