So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Pooping to opera.
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