She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
