It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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