idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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