Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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