hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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