Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
