i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
