Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
