Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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