Do you still have your period?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
