using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize