Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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