It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
