I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
