I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
