Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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